So, the election is coming up Monday. If you’re a bit of a poligeek like myself, you’ve probably got your candidates researched, your lawnsigns firmly planted, and your candidate buttons fastened on every coat. Possibly even a gleaming twibbon. However there’s one area you may not have thought of yet – that being election party food. What better to do on election night than gather with friends, share a great meal and some beverages as you nervously watch the results trickle in? So. To enrich your upcoming gatherings, I have compiled a list of fantastic #yegvote related foods for your upcoming party. With files from the brilliant Phil Wilson (aka @baconhound.)
1. Brownstone Brownies.
Our local infill champion, Don Iveson, has been promoting some great ideas, including his views on diversity of housing choices in this fair town. Why not bake up some brownies to celebrate his vision? Simply make a regular old batch of your favourite brownies, and get creative with the glosette raisins. Or peanuts. Depending what you like best. Don’t forget to leave room for some bike lanes.
2. Chicken Pot(hole) Pie.
Obviously, this one’s in honour of Kerry Diotte. Purchase some chicken pot pies (locally sourced, if you’re a #yegag fan, there are plenty at the local markets). Simply bake as directed, then smash some holes in them. Little people, cars and pickup trucks being swallowed up by the potholes are optional, but cute. My sister even found me a little indignant Kerry, which I’ll definitely bring to the party.
3. Red Tape Elimination Commission Velevet Cake.
Karen Leibovici wants to CUT THE RED TAPE, people. I’m thinking a red velvet cake is hard to pass up here. Search the internets for your favourite red velvet cake recipe, or that great box mix from Superstore with no artificial colours or flavours… bake as required, and serve with a pair of scissors. Take that, red tape. Bonus – the red velvet cake, with all that creamy cream cheese icing, is kinda sexy. Like Karen’s favourite book. (*Disclaimer: I haven’t actually read said book, so I can’t verify sexiness of said book. I’m just guessing here.)
I wasn’t really sure what to suggest for Kristine Acielo. A skytrain licorice sculpture? An entry-to-edmonton gate made of pretzels, maybe? A bigger-arena-please-watermelon-carving? There were just so many idea to work with. But her tweets of late regarding using her election campaign to get a date made me think just a plate of fish would work. Salmon, trout, tuna, I don’t know. Whatever. As long as there is plenty of it. You get it, right? Plenty Of Fish? (*Disclaimer: I didn’t actually create this plate of fish, nor photograph it. I stole it from here. Also, I probably don’t recommend actually bringing this to a party. You might not get invited back to that person’s house again.)
5. Something World-Class. Something with International Potential.
We can’t forget about Gordon Ward. The man wants Edmonton to be on the world stage. World class. He believes Edmonton has international potential. We are on the road to developing an international reputation. So maybe for this one, bring anything that has international reverberations. Think BIG! But don’t go into debt for this one; you need to be fiscally responsible in the preparation of this dish. So get back down to earth here. And don’t give up halfway – Gordon wants to make sure you FINISH WHAT YOU START. So don’t get into this project if it’s over your head.
I’m thinking something like this (except use Edmonton’s skyline instead):
(*Disclaimer: Again, I didn’t create this cake. These guys did. But it’s fancy, huh? World class.)
I think it’s safe to say that Josh Semotiuk has kind of stolen our hearts this election. Like, really. How can you not like a guy who actually gets a mayoral endorsement from Motorhead? So anyways, if you’re going to drink to anyone this election, drink to Josh. Or, as this guy called him, the Deputy of Keepin’ It Real. That’s about right. Drink to the deputy, for keepin’ it real. And speaking in a language we all understood. And making us smile through the forums. At one forum, he told the audience that he was glad we made it out, because we really could have been sitting at home watching the livestream in our boxers, drinking some beer. So here’s to you, Josh. Since Lemmy Kilmister was in a Kronenbourg commercial, I’ll post this photo in your honour. I think we’ll all be raising a glass to the guy who reminded us that democracy is living in a city where having 100 friends and 500 bucks can give you a voice on the mayoral candidates panel.
So there you have it, friends. A complete guide to having the best #yeg election party you’ve ever had. You’re welcome. (Between newscasts, make sure you catch the ECCW Elimination Chamber – Mayoral Candidates Grudge Match. You’re welcome again.) If you really want to get into it, you might want to start researching your local ward or school board candidates and tailoring some foods for them, too. Whatever you do on election day, don’t forget to get over to a polling station and VOTE.
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